The Fund  KisaIta
by Face Paint
Summary: One Shot, KisameXItachi. Our favorite duo, on orders from Pein, finds themselves at... a brothel? Is this really what the team needs to relieve tension, or will this only make things worse? little Fluffy, just little angsty, yaoi/shounen-ai, no lemon


A/N- ermm... not much to say... I love this pairing!... Characters belong to Kishimoto! If they belonged to me... muahaha... if they belonged to me... :D ...

They were mere men. It was natural for tension to build up; they had needs. Of course those were usually well-tamed, but every now and then it was necessary to take a break and cater to them. With this in mind, the food fund, weapons fund, and basic accommodations fund were born, along with the newly installed -

"Whore fund! _un_!"

"Deidara, it sounds sleazy when you call it that."

"Ah, but it's true, Kisame."

"It's a waste of money."

"You're a _fucking_ hypocrite, Kakuzu! You just can't share _worth shit_ for such a fucked up reason, but I've seen you part with precious cash for a good _fuck_ plenty of times!" Hidan loved getting the miser riled up, but he didn't even have to lie for this one.

Itachi just stood quietly at the sidelines, preferring that they not have this conversation at all. It was a degrading prospect, only adding more shame to the Akatsuki as a whole. At least they dealt with it in a somewhat professional manner, rather than letting it get out of hand and soil their reputation like that of a certain legendary sannin of more legendary libido.

The sun sunk below the horizon, leaving trails of stardust in its wake as Itachi and Kisame approached a questionable edifice. It might at first appear to be a nice bed and breakfast, but the promiscuously dressed women and their seductive mannerisms easily exposed the establishment's true function.

The women cooed and poured them sake, despite being initially alarmed by Kisame's appearace. Itachi couldn't help but wince in mild disgust at their act; their desperation for paying customers far overwhelming their own emotions as they turned on their plastic act, fake laughs and insincere smiling. In a sick way they were almost like shinobi. He grimaced dryly at the prospect of being akin to a prostitute, but in all actuality the analogy was quite accurate; he was first a whore to the clan, then to the village, and now to Akatsuki. He was viewed as nothing more than a tool, and was forced to set aside his own emotions and desires to fulfill the missions he was assigned. Of course, his missions usually involved killing men, not pleasing them sexually.

He sipped the warm sake, letting the inviting, intoxicating liquid fill his mouth. He didn't often drink, but he needed to ease up to the surroundings and accept the fact that he was here and that it might do him some good. He would indulge himself in the sins of the flesh, and ... possibly even share that mutual understanding of the sacrifices their lines of work entailed... no, that's an impossible thought. He could be physical with them, but being intimate... that was dangerous. Emotions were unwanted thing in his line of work, and the gut-wrenching sting of loneliness and blood-curdling stab of grief and despair were things he'd long abandoned - not that it stopped them entirely from springing up.

His thoughts were broken by the fawning women purring in his ears. One dared to trail her fingers up his thighs, unaware of the bravado of her act on _this Uchiha_. Her hand was briskly swatted away, and Itachi shifted uncomfortably in his seat; the sake was doing little to improve his tensions - if anything it enhanced the whispered profanities penetrating his unwilling ears.

Kisame was also swarmed by women who appeared to be unaffected by his frightening appearance. He was impressed by their acting, but it wasn't so easy to fool the S-ranked missing nin, even if he did _look_ like a shark. He knew it was an act; he knew it would _all _ be an act; the affection, the sex, the intimacy, but it didn't matter - even if it irritated him (because those emotions don't matter). It would get the job. He sighed as he surveyed the pulling at his sleeves, beckoning him to choose one (or two) of them to take to a room. His eye was caught by a lovely looking young woman - her supple skin glowed a pale ivory and long dark hair flowed loosely about her shoulders, her expression was soft with a mute androgyny, and her eyes looked tired. She seemed almost... familiar. He ran his fingers through her silky tresses, as if it were something he'd longed to do for years, and the woman took this as an indication to take his hand and lead him away, leaving Itachi to mull quietly in the throng of promiscuous women.

Itachi eyed his partner - well, more his partner's partner, as she walked gracefully from the room. Her hair swayed lightly with her steps and glistened softly in the light - it was _almost _as radiant as his, but her skin was nearly the same shade of rich cream as his - and probably softer, or at least less scarred and worn. He frowned in disappointment, somehow admonishing the girl for looking as she did, so much like him without actually being him, without actually enduring what he did or suffering what he'd known. For a fleeting moment he imagined being her, not having the painful past he had, living as a simple prostitute with pretty hair and smooth skin, about to make love to a tall, dark, and formidable man... He faltered abruptly and shook the poisonous thought from his head. Silly thoughts, ridiculous thoughts, _dangerous_ thoughts. It was irresponsible to fantasize about being anyone else, and sordid that he would imagine being a prostitute, of all things, and about to have sex with his partner too. Ludicrous. _These are the kind of thoughts that get men killed.. or... worse.._.

He looked around at the women crooning over him as a sharp pain shot through his temples. There were women all about him, some obscene, some suggestive, all too promiscuous for his liking. HE began to doubt even the point of being here when he noticed a quieter woman sitting a ways off, shut off from him, the single customer, by the other opportunistic women. She offered him a delicate smile from behind the crowd, and he stood from his seat and approached her, shutting his eyes shamefully at the prospect of _approaching _a _prostitute_. But she was the least invasive of them, so he'd settle for the lesser of the evils - because this kind of activity did, in every way, go against his beliefs. But of course, those didn't matter. not since... _not since_... Ah, but now was no time to reminisce. Konoha was years away and worlds apart. He reached her and offered his hand.

He would, of course, find that he was wrong. The minute his escort shut the door to their room she set about feeling him up and sighing saucy things into his ear which he wasn't too interested in hearing. He slipped from her grasp pushed her away lightly, and sat down on the opposite end of the small room, hoping that she would get the message. She frowned, making the fatal assumption that Itachi was a man of games and was playing hard-too-get - so she resolved to try harder. While Itachi sat gathering his thoughts, she approached him, swaying her hips as she walked, hoping to catch his attention. When he glanced up, he saw her fingers snaking around the buttons of her blouse, freeing them and her abundant bosom beneath as she smiled seductively, still walking with that awkward hip movement. He sighed and massaged his temples before standing and evading her groping hands and began replacing the buttons on her shirt. That should be enough for even an idiot to understand. She furrowed her brows, and Itachi gently pressed at her shoulders away from him so that she sat on the edge of the bed. She took this as a different indication, and splayed herself out on the sheets, purring and stretching in what was supposed to be a seductive manner. Itachi slumped down on the edge of the bed, giving up. He groaned and rubbed the bridge of his nose, questioning why he had even come here in the first place. The woman finally picked up the message and sat back up, composing herself, and frowned. She decided on a different rout, desperate to get paid for the night if her life depended on it. She ran her fingers gingerly through the raven's hair, pulling out the band that had it tied so that it fell freely down his back. When he didn't object, she brushed the hair from one of his shoulders and began kissing his neck clumsily, obviously inexperienced when it came to delicate affairs. He frowned at the thought; were all men so rough that she never bothered to learn to be tender? At least she was being more agreeable now, instead of blatantly imposing her sexuality upon him. Granted she was clumsy, but he didn't mind that so much. Kisame was clumsy.

His eyes shot open and he frowned. Why was he thinking of his partner _now_? He never thought things like this. He'd never _allow_ himself to. And yet now, now that he was supposed to be relieving himself of his libido, his thoughts kept straying back to his partner. It was wrong; thoughts like this could interfere with the stability of a working partnership and endanger their missions, and even their lives. _This_ is why emotions aren't allowed in the shinobi world.

He twisted away from the threatening images in an attempt to escape them and immerse himself in the present, but it was difficult with the swirling headache of thoughts in his head. He ran his hands through the young woman's locks, and watched as she reacted with renewed hope and enthusiasm. It really must be a sad life as a prostitute. He wondered which was worse, being a prostitute or a shinobi. He searched her dark eyes for the answer, feeling what might possibly be sympathy for the lady before him. He closed his lids and pressed his lips to her cheek, continuing to kiss her, hoping that he might feel something, somehow, for any reason - though he knew it was irresponsible to want to _feel_. His kisses trailed onto her neck, and he heard her purr, but it wasn't in pleasure. It was in satisfaction that her customer might actually pull through and that she might be able to make a profit today. Another artificial moan was emitted from the woman's lips huskier and hungrier than the previous. Itachi frowned at its obvious intention of arousing him to entice him to venture further into her paycheck. She continued the fake sighs and sounds, each one irritating him a little more, until his resolve broke and he pushed her away. The woman watched in undignified horror as her prey escaped, throwing on his cloak and retreated to the door. She was about to launch her self at him in a drastic last-ditch attempt to get him to bed, when he pulled out a small bundle of cash and left it on her dresser. She sighed in relief as Itachi left her room, and stared down at her feet, grateful at least that the man was decent even though she was a failure.

Itachi left, clicking the door shut behind him and walked outside. The air was brisk, but refreshing, and he jumped softly onto the roof where he sat and watched the stars glisten above him. The shingles beneath him were cool and rough, like a beach stone tossed by ocean waves, not yet entirely smoothed ofits roughened surface from its life on land; just a little smooth, but still textured, and firm, and ocean-kissed - like Kisame's skin...

_'tsk, again...'_

Below he could faintly hear the sounds of artificial moans and fake orgasms as men bought their pleasure from temporary lovers. Surely one of them was his partner...

Kisame eyed the young woman who led him through the hall and to a room. He admired the way her dark hair swayed as she walked, sweeping over her pale shoulders like a river of ink, in much the same way as the silky raven hair of Itachi's. His steps faltered. He internally scolded himself for thinking such a thing; comparing Itachi to a prostitute and thinking of him at such a time, berating his treasonous mind for betraying him. He restrained his thoughts from such shameful topics as he walked through the door. But as he ran his fingers through her sable hair, and touched her soft, ivory skin, he couldn't help but be reminded of his unattainable partner and wonder whether or not his hair was as soft as this woman's, or if his skin was as warm and inviting. He felt shameful as he kissed the raven-haired woman, imagining Itachi, and even more so as he gently removed her clothing with his clumsy hands. She emitted a plastic sound that irritated him, so he shut it out. It wasn't necessary for her to fake those noises, he was perfectly capable of stealing every sound from her vocal chords if he _really_ wanted to. He could be dynamite and leave her heaving and unconscious, but that's not what he wanted right now. Right now he wanted something else; He wanted to enjoy every inch of her creamy skin, and run his fingers through every strand of her hair. Why? He didn't want to answer that question, though he knew why.

He buried his head in the soft ivory skin of her neck, allowing her silky black hair cascade about his face as he kissed her softly. His hands slid over her shoulders and his lips explored her skin as his mind roamed free, and his lips uttered words, and illicit name without intention. He could barely hear her sighs and moans and whispered words and his befuddled mind clouded over with impossible images. He tried to chase away his impure thoughts with the sounds of her pleasure, and breached the surface of his consciousness by clinging onto the sound of her voice, and her words became clear...

"Fuck me senseless..."

Kisame jerked - repulsed, completely returned the present. Shocked, disgusted by the vulgarity - not just of the words, but of the words coming from those pure, rosy lips on flawless vanilla skin under silky black hair. that just _wasn't right._ It was _offensive. _And he recoiled from her words as his interest in her stepped away from her, flashing a look of disgust, as he pulled his cloak around him and headed for the door. The woman watched in shock and dread, wondering what she had done wrong to loose her customer. A flash of anger shot across her face, but was quelled by the bundle of money that was left on her dresser. The woman sighed; it didn't really matter so long as she got paid.

The cool midnight air washed over him as he left the stifling, undignified facility.

Itachi watched as his partner stepped into the night below him. The sounds from the room directly beneath him had ceased, and he heard the light footsteps of a woman walking across the floor. This probably meant that Kisame had been in the room below him, which filled him with some strange satisfaction that he knew was utterly wrong. He was glad that his impostor was rejected, he was glad that Kisame hadn't had sex with her, he was _glad_ and it was so terrible that he _felt_ this way, that he _felt _at all, really. It was insanity to feel such things, but Itachi had long since accepted the fact that he wasn't sane. A sigh of breath escaped his lips as his eyes followed the dark figure in the night.

Kisame stepped out onto the open grass, sighing at the terrible failure the night had been. It was designed to relieve him of his tensions but instead only added to them. His shoulders slumped over, irritating a knot that had been tightening beneath his shoulder blade. The night sky was clear and he raised his head to find solace in the stars. The moon glowed like a silver beacon, full and luminous in the starry sky, illuminating the silhouette of a man on the roof... Itachi? He cocked his head and examined the figure, hair loosely swaying in the cool night breeze, silken strands glinting lightly in the moonlight. They locked eyes for a moment, and traded inquisitive glances before Kisame joined his partner on the shingles.

They sat quietly for a while, gazing silently into the night until Kisame laid back on the roof and sighed heavily. He looked up at the Uchiha sitting stoically beside him. His silhouette glowed softly as his hair drifted around him, bathed in moonlight and framed by the twinkling stars. Itachi really was a sight to behold, wherever he was, whatever he was doing, but especially right now, in the silent serenity of the night. Kisame mused to himself, not realizing that the same thoughts were currently processing through his partner's mind. He broke the silence with an inquisition, "So, did you have a good time?"

"... No."

Kisame's repressed a faint smile that was hidden in the mask of night, "...me neither... The chick I had said obscene things."

"I didn't like her."

"You picked her." Kisame thought back to the women remaining when he left, there were plenty to choose from; he didn't realize Itachi was speaking of the raven-haired woman that lead him away.

"No, _you_ did."

Kisame paused, confused, until he realized who his partner was actually talking about. "Oh, yea, me neither... But she had pretty hair and nice skin."

Itachi was silent, though internally feeling the slight well of vicotory over his unspoken adversary rise within him.

"What was your girl like?"

"... Unsophisticated."

Kisame chuckled, "What did you expect? That's all you have to complain about? Not bad..."

"I didn't sleep with her."

Kisame couldn't help but feel slightly relieved. The idea of his partner having sex with some whore was appalling to him no matter how he thought about it. "Ah, that bad? I didn't sleep with mine either." He paused. "You're pretty young though," he smirked, "have you ever even had sex?"

Itachi looked down at his partner with tired, unmoved eyes, then looked back up to the sky. "of course."

Kisame thought for a moment about the reply. He wasn't sure if he liked or disliked the fact that Itachi wasn't a virgin. "hmph I just can't see you ever being intimate with anyone." Of course the moment he said that, his mind was immediately inundated in images that filled him with a rush of warmth and embarrassment.

"hn." Itachi lay back tiredly next to Kisame, closing dismissively. "I can't see you being intimate either." Of course he could, he could practically see everything (not just because he had powerful eyes) and the idea sent his insides swirling and flushed his cheeks with a warm rosy pink, invisible in the night. It was terrible how he couldn't control the most basic of feelings.

Kisame looked up at Itachi, surprised by his response, though he shouldn't have been. Did he really appear so harsh and rough that it seemed impossible for him to be intimate? He frowned at himself, but the idea was well founded; he was a vicious blood-thirsty shark-man. "I can be intimate" he voice was_ almost _defensive, with a hint of daring, and a little doubt. He hadn't actually ever been intimate with someone, even the times he'd had sex, it was rough and void of real emotion.

Itachi paused before responding. "Were you intimate with her?"

Kisame was thoughtful, "I tried,"

"but you weren't."

"It was her fault. Besides, were _you_ intimate?"

Itachi paused again, " I tried."

"hmph."

There was momentary silence, until Kisame spoke hesitantly. "What did you do with her then?"

Itachi looked over, eyebrow slightly raised. It was a strange question whose answer was irrelevant. He should just ignore the invasive and eccentric inquisition, but as he studied the face of his partner, now facing him, eyes glistening like moist pears set in blue velvet, he felt inclined to answer.

The night blew cool air between them, and the breeze made him suddenly aware of how close they were. He was close enough to feel Kisame's warm breath against his cheeks, and feel the somewhat erratic beating of his partner's heart as anxiety began to fill his silence.

"Nevermind, that's a dumb question." Kisame was about to turn away, when a delicate hand touched his cheek. He looked back to see Itachi's face dangerously close to his, deep onyx eyes gazing into his own. He was blinded by the sight, a cloudy haze blanketing his thoughts as a rush of warmth blanketed his body, shooting like lightning from the pit of his stomach. Without thought, he tilted his head, and the space between their lips dissolved into a soft, warm kiss. The air around them seemed to hand in suspense, each molecule spinning on edge, suspended indefinitely by the breach of possibility. He could feel Itachi's eyelashes flutter closed on his cheek, sending glorious shivers down his spine that met and mingled with the dancing warmth that welled in his stomach. It was like drinking in a sweet, warm fluid, the tender pressure on his lips pouring through his body like honey tipping onto his lips. but just as gently as it arrived, the pressure relieved and lifted leaving his lips bare and exposed to the brisk night air.

Itachi watched the change of emotions in Kisame's face as he removed himself from the shark's lips, drinking in the freely flowing expressions that came to life on the chiseled features. His limbs had grown wheightless, as all the gravity in his body centered to his lips, now tingling from the enticing contact. When Kisame's eyes flickered open, questioning what had happened and why it stopped, their eyes met, and Itachi replied to the earlier question, "That's what I did with her,"

A rush of feeling swept into the shark, chased by the chilling feeling of _envy_.

"except I failed at being intimate with her." Itachi's voice was almost a whisper, but Kisame could feel the breath of the words on his lips. Their meaning sunk into him. _They had just been intimate..._ The realization flooded him with warmth and ecstasy. It was such a minor thing, so simple, and yet, for two people like them, outcasts, criminals, shinobi - it was incredible.

Kisame extended a large, rough hand and gently stroked his partner's cheek, trailing his fingers along the delicate jawline until he could run his fingers through the long, silky locks of hair that floated about them. He smiled with satisfaction; Itachi's hair _was_ silkier and his skin was softer than the other woman's. He nestled his fingers deep within the ebony strands, his warm palms against the nape of Itachi's neck, beckoning him closer. Their lips met with a surge of passion, and they pulled their bodies closer and were, for the second time in their lives, intimate.

I hope you liked it!

I edited this one a ton, so I think it's much better than when I posted it on DA (.com)

please please review! :DDD


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